Personal Power e-zine, February 6, 2009

In Lean Times, a Personal Guide Can Be Your Best Investment

When uncertain economic times appear, many of us react with fear, like threatened animals. Our fight/flight response is triggered. We back into our emotional gopher holes and bare our claws and close our wallets.

It's a scientific fact, though, that fear makes us stupid...literally! You see, when we're relaxed and feeling safe, we are able to use all of the knowing faculties that make us human: reason, common sense, intuition, spiritual guidance. And we are able to use them all in a delicate weave, each one informing and drawing wisdom from the others.

But when we feel threatened, our brains shut down. We revert to low-level, one-dimensional, lizard-brain thinking. We disable our brilliance, creativity and highest-level capacities. We go into survival mode.

As a result we make bad decisions - decisions that often compound the very situation we fear.

Instinct tells us that by narrowing our brain functions, we are better able to focus on the threat at hand. Maybe this was a useful response for our ancestors when they were literally being chased by saber-toothed tigers, but it's not helpful in today's world. Cutting ourselves off from our highest faculties does not make us more efficient, it just makes us, for lack of a better word…stupid.

Fear causes us to separate not only from the ablest parts of ourselves, but from our loved ones as well. We become suspicious, self-protective. We lapse into a defensive, "me-against-the-world" kind of thinking.

The best response to challenging times is unifying, not fracturing and pulling back. Opening up to more of our wholeness, rather than shutting down, is the key to making intelligent, life-enhancing decisions. Connecting more deeply with our loved ones and ourselves is the antidote to the panicky fear that can hobble us when times get rough.

Flip It Around

Sadly, it is in those very situations where we need our fullest faculties that we are most likely to shut them off.

One of the worst decisions we often make during scary economic times, for example, is to stop spending money on personal growth. For companies, this might mean canceling training programs and educational benefits. For individuals, it can mean quitting therapy, canceling a spiritual retreat, or severing a relationship with a life coach.

Spending money on ourselves, in the face of tough financial times, can seem unnecessary and self-indulgent. This makes as much sense as cutting back on eating when you're weak from starvation and poor nutrition.

I would encourage you to consider flipping it around and trying the opposite approach. That is, getting additional help, rather than reverting to "the cupboard is bare" kind of thinking. For it is exactly when the outer world looks most fearsome that we need to be at the top of our game.

A personal guide - coach, trainer, advisor, master, whatever term you prefer - can be a crucial tool for helping you access more of your Self when you need it most. A skilled mentor can help you avoid the mental, spiritual and emotional "shut-down" that threatening situations can induce and bring out your badly-needed "A" game.

Cut in Other Areas

If a lean economy convinces you to cut your expenses, I suggest you do it in areas that really are indulgences. Exercise at home rather than joining a gym; go out to restaurants less often; rent a DVD instead of going to the movies. But don't stop investing in life guidance and life itself! In fact, consider adding guidance if you're not getting any right now.

Now is not the time for being less than you can be. Quite the opposite. Investing in yourself right now might be the very key to thriving, rather than sinking below the waves.

Smart companies do more training when times get rough, giving their employees a new competitive edge. Smart individuals need to think the same way.

Why Do I Need a Guide?

But do I need a guide at all? Why? Aren't they just New Age luxuries? What can they teach me that I don't already know?

In our culture, we are very leery about seeking guides for our inner lives. Yet, we readily accept the need for coaching in other areas of our lives. If we want to learn French, for example, we seek a tutor who speaks that language. If we want to become an Olympic-caliber swimmer, we hire an excellent coach. We understand the role that coaches play...or do we?

A skilled life guide or life trainer functions in much the same way as an athletic coach. That is, she/he doesn't "pour" anything into you that you don't already have; rather, she/he helps you to bring out more of what is already inside you. His/her job is not to ADD to you but to reveal the TRUE you. To pull out strengths and resources you cannot see. To see what is in your blind spot.

A good inner coach never pretends to have the answers. She/he knows that the answers to your life dilemmas lie where they were created...within you. He/she simply helps you find them.

Five Qualities of a Good Guidance Relationship

Here are some qualities you might look for in a relationship with a coach or trainer:

1. The person has something you don't have. Just as you wouldn't try to learn French from someone who didn't speak it, you don't want to take life training from someone who fails to project the inner powers you are trying to master. Want to learn about inner happiness? Seek a mentor with divine light in her eyes. Want to learn about creating abundance? Well, don't hire a life coach who is living, as Chris Farley used to say, "in a van down by the river."

2. The person is as committed as you are. One of the reasons we are suspicious about mentors and masters is that there are a lot of second-raters out there. Make sure the person you work with has passion for his work, is confident about his abilities, and cares deeply about your success. Look into his eyes. Listen to his voice. Make sure she is in this thing 100%.

3. You and the person share a similar definition of success. Everyone has a different way of defining success. It's important, before you commit to working with someone, that the two of you are in synch. My definition of success, for example, does not include a certain dollar figure, job title or zip code. Rather, I see success as the freedom and ability to do exactly what you want to do. Make sure you and your guide are looking for the same kind of outcome.

4. The two of you have a plan. A good mentor/coach has flexibility in her approach, but does not fly by the seat of her pants. She has a plan, an identifiable strategy. Your work together has structure. That structure is subject to change as needed, but it's not amorphous and completely open-ended. When working with a life expert, it's not necessary to have goals - goals, in fact, are weak, limiting and artificial - but objectives are very helpful. Objectives are concrete stepping stones that serve as measurements of our growth.

5. You both know when you're complete. In general, coaching/mentoring relationships should have an expiration date. That is, when you're done your work together, you're done. Both of you should be able to recognize and agree upon this. You should be able to end your work in an equitable way and move on. Mentor relationships that go on forever tend to be unfocused and ultimately unproductive.

Yes, we live in tricky financial, emotional, electronic times.

The news media is having a field day selling fears of economic catastrophe. But that is not reason to pull back on your inner work. It is, in fact, a great motivation to go to work amping up your personal power. One of the greatest ways to make speedy progress in this dimension is to work with an accomplished mentor.

Instead of asking, "Can I afford the expense?" you might want to ask instead, "Can I afford not to be operating at my optimal power during these challenging times?"

About the Author

Personal power expert Michelle Rigg is the author of You Must Be OUT of YOUR MIND: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating More Power In Your Life. Her clients usually see remarkable improvements in income, relationships, communication, focus, and clarity after completing just one workshop or telephone laser session. For a FREE 5-step course that will supercharge your personal power, visit http://www.createpersonalpower.com.

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