Personal Power e-zine, June 13, 2007

Why "Fake It Until You Make It" Doesn't Work - Part 1

"Fake it till you make it!"

"The power of positive thinking!"

"Think and grow rich!"

We've all heard these self-improvement slogans. Dale Carnegie, Zig Ziglar, and Napoleon Hill made a big impact, even on people who don't recognize their names.

My dad was a huge fan of theirs, and he took their teachings pretty literally. Faking it, thinking positive, not having something but pretending to have it for others to see and buy into - that was his approach to life. Unfortunately, his results were shaky at best.

Let me tell you about my Dad

My dad was an insurance salesman, a talented, gifted, self-made man who would reach peaks of success and then fall into a crumbling heap soon after. Even though he did really well for a while, maintaining his power and stability was something he never achieved.

He would study the self-improvement books and do exactly what they told him to do. He looked the look, he walked the walk, he talked the talk. But he never really reflected on what was in those books, so he never really owned it or integrated it into himself. As a result, he was sort of a false product of other people's ideas. And, unfortunately, his success was never more than temporary.

So what went wrong?

My dad was left with all sorts of gaps in his understanding of what Carnegie and Ziglar and Hill were actually trying to say. Most of their ideas come from sound fundamentals of success, but they can and have been misunderstood. As adults who desire to learn and move forward, it's our job to recognize these gaps and fill them in for ourselves.

Knowing what we want and being extremely intelligent are great factors in our favor, but they're not enough. They weren't enough for my dad.

Here are six critical concepts that will help you fill in the gaps:

1. Never fake anything. Where's the power in that?

If you want long-term success in anything, you cannot fake it. Until you truly understand confidence and success, don't try to convince anyone that you're already there. If, within yourself, you have earned some true understanding, you will show up as naturally comfortable in your own skin. Once you truly own your knowledge, your concepts, your tools - then your confidence will becomes visible and everything about you will say you deserve success.

If you want to change something about yourself, it may take time before that change feels truly comfortable. Be patient with the process.

Once I decided I wanted to be the queen of my world, it took some time before I fully integrated that belief in myself into every fiber of my being. And yes, at first I had to pretend to MYSELF that I was a queen. I think that was what "fake it till you make it" was originally supposed to mean.

I had to practice until my new confidence became less make-believe and more real, not only to me but to the people around me who felt my self-respect and inner dignity. I didn't try to convince or pretend to others that I was something I actually had not yet become. I simply did what I did for me and with me. It wasn't about other people.

The best policy is to be real. While you're working through the stages to success, let people know you're not there yet. Don't pretend you're already there. If you're not all the way there, be willing to say, "I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way, and right now this is where I am." Great power can be found in honestly saying, "I don't know" - for one thing, it opens the door to learning something new.

2. True power comes from the respect you have for yourself.

Where does this respect come from? It comes from earning it from yourself. And the way to earn respect is by staying in integrity with you. Your obligations to other people are secondary.

Don't say you have a dream and then bail out on that dream. Don't hide your talent because you are afraid to let anyone know you have a talent. You have to keep your promises to yourself. You have to honor yourself. You have to follow the truth that comes from within you.

When you do these things, you will have an inner confidence and an inner power that will naturally command respect. You will send out a vibe that says, "I'm a person of value." But first you have to build your power and confidence from within.

3. Just memorizing information doesn't work. OWN it!

Your life isn't like grade school, high school, or college. You can't just parrot words and sentences back on a test and get an "A." In life, information is only valuable if it becomes PART of you. Put what you learn into your own words!

How do you make information a part of you? First, let down your guard. Let the information in. You may not know how to do this; we are so bombarded by advertising and other kinds of agendas that we have armored ourselves against information - and for good reasons! But unless you let your guard down, nothing new will be able to get in.

Second, don't store information. USE it. If the information is worth anything, it's worth putting it to use.

Don't file information away in the back of your mind. If you can't use it, if it's not the right fit for you, throw it away! Put it in a physical file in a cabinet if you want, but don't let it clutter your mind.

Once you learn something new, put it into action right away. Test it, try it on, experiment to see if it works for you. And, be sure to stay curious and ask lots of questions!

Stay tuned for Part 2

In Part 2 of this article we will examine three more concepts that will help you accomplish real and lasting self-improvement.

About the Author

Personal power expert Michelle Rigg is the author of You Must Be OUT of YOUR MIND: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating More Power In Your Life. Her clients usually see remarkable improvements in income, relationships, communication, focus, and clarity after completing just one workshop or telephone laser session. For a FREE 5-step course that will supercharge your personal power, visit http://www.createpersonalpower.com.

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