Personal Power e-zine, August 16, 2006

What Really Motivates You? Find out in 5 Easy Steps!

As I noticed the look of utter shock on a really important contact's face, I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh! Why on earth did that come out of my mouth?"

My comments were shocking, and just plain off! I wasn't in sync with the person with whom I was speaking, and it showed. The end result was I lost a potentially awesome opportunity to "wow" someone who could have been of real benefit to me both personally and professionally. Instead I left them dumfounded and confused by my obvious inconsistency.

Have you ever asked yourself, "Why did I do that?" The answer is you were motivated to do it. In other words, you were (and continue to be) at the mercy of certain specific behaviors. Until you see clearly what purpose the behaviors serve, they will continue to appear whether you like it or not!

WHY do you do what you do?

You do it because it gives you what you feel you need (regardless of whether the need is real or perceived). You are fundamentally driven by reward, even if it's negative. You will do things that are not in your best interest just to get your needs met.

Can knowing what motivates you make a difference?

Yes! It's as important as knowing what sort of gas to put in your vehicle's gas tank. By knowing what is at the root of your behaviors, you can begin to give specific things to yourself that will make you feel safe and cared for. This will eliminate the motivation to exhibit inconsistent behaviors to get what you need.

How can you figure out what motivates you?

Use these five easy steps to identify what's at the root of your inconsistent behaviors and what you should do to resolve them.

Write down any inconsistent behaviors that pop up unexpectedly. Examples include emotional outbursts, procrastination, disorganization, mood swings, discomfort, temper flare-ups, inappropriate jokes, poor choices, and anything else that feels "off."
Answer the following questions as honestly as you can:
- What do you get from your inconsistent behaviors?
- What do the behaviors give you at a deep level? Is it being right, gaining respect or freedom, having your way, getting attention or approval, praise, etc.?
List your positive behaviors that you are pleased with.
Answer the following questions as honestly as you can:
- What do you get from your positive behaviors?
- What motivates you at a deep level to behave in that manner? Is it acceptance, accomplishment, peace, fulfillment, pride, etc.?
Now analyze steps two and four to see what motivates you. Your answers to question #2 are what you are denying yourself. Your answers to question #4 are what you are giving yourself.

Once you identify what your negative/inconsistent behaviors are giving you, you will have taken your first step toward eliminating them. Ask yourself, "What are some positive and productive ways I can give myself what I have been denying myself?"

Keep a watchful eye out for your inconsistent behaviors and consciously replace them with positive behaviors. If you maintain consistent vigilance and repetitively practice positive behaviors, you will produce results that will last a lifetime!

About the Author

Personal power expert Michelle Rigg is the author of You Must Be OUT of YOUR MIND: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating More Power In Your Life. Her clients usually see remarkable improvements in income, relationships, communication, focus, and clarity after completing just one workshop or telephone laser session. For a FREE 5-step course that will supercharge your personal power, visit http://www.createpersonalpower.com.

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